13/06/2024

since i bought a 3ds for my birthday, i hardly use my phone and pc. this makes me happy and sad at the same time, because I have less time for both art and mindless tiktok watchin ^_^

28/05/2024

today is my birthday. i wish my animal crossing villagers were real, they are way sweeter than real people.

10/05/2024

to get to a quiet lonely place in a forest park, i need to walk about 2km. this is an hour on foot or half an hour by bike, when there is an opportunity to use it (rarely). after each walk my legs and back hurt a lot, and its hard for me to walk through crowded places even with headphones on. but every time i get to my fav spot, i over and over again realize that its definitely worth it. its the only place in my neighborhood where i can feel alive. the nature really relaxes and gives me the strength to move on. i will be moving soon, and i hope that i could find a new 'mine' place.

30/04/2024

its really hard for me to make friends. i used to have a lot of friends (for me), but every year i get less and less interested in people (like they are in me). im not sure if that makes any sense. perhaps i want interest from strangers, or its just society that has imposed on me the need for friends. idk.

16/04/2024

the thought that i will die without creating anything new in this world is incredibly frightening. i try to learn smthing and try smthing, but the more i try, the more imm convinced that i dont have even a drop of talent. i am nothing, and i wont leave anything in this world behind. but is it wrong or am i just anxious? idk.

10/04/2024

todays walk was quiet and peaceful. i bought a meal and had a mini picnic in the park. after that took a walk through the woods and made cool bracelets. i have a headache now, but it was a great day.

3/04/2024

bought a set of beads today. made this cool BMO bracelet. it started to rain in the evening, my autistic ass was excited. if it was rainy every couple of days the world would be a bit better.

28/03/2024

went skateboarding today. hoped that people stay at home on a weekday, but unfortunately theyr not:). was upset at first, but then found a secluded place. it was sad to see groups of friends walking. however, when i left the crowd, it immediately became calm and quiet inside, and my obsessive thoughts were gone. i like skateboarding, although im not very good at it. also took a lot of photos, here are some of them. the weather was great, but its sad that the trees arent green yet. people look at me strangely, or so it seems to me. dont care. i want peace. got ovestimulated, but idc about it when im out for a walk. song of the day - goodnight dad i love u (idk the artist, its ambient)